Transcript: Horsefulness Training podcast-episode 19

Title: The growth mindset for horsewomen

Date: [27-06-25]

Host: Karine Vandenborre

Welcome to episode 19 of the Horsefulness Training Podcast.

I’m Karine Vandenborre, horse trainer, horsewomen coach and founder of the Horsefulness Training method, and I’m so happy you’re here.

Today we’re diving into our mindset as horsewomen.
You may have heard the phrase, "Your mindset shapes your reality." But what does that really mean? And how does it affect the way you train and connect with your horse?

That’s exactly what we’re going to explore together.
We’ll talk about the scientific research behind mindset, what it means to have a positive mindset (and what it doesn't mean), and how your mental attitude affects your relationship and training with your horse.
I'll also guide you with reflective questions and tips to bring this awareness into your daily horsewoman life.

So take a moment to settle in. Maybe you’re walking through the pasture, grooming your horse, or sipping tea at your kitchen table.
Wherever you are, I invite you to be present and open.
This episode is about you, and how your inner world shapes your outer world with your horse and beyond.

So, What Is Mindset, Really?

Mindset is your set of beliefs, your way of thinking. It’s the lens through which you see the world and yourself.
It's not just about being "positive" or "negative", it's about how you see challenges, effort, failure, and even your own identity as a horsewoman.

The concept of mindset was made famous by Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford University. She identified two basic types:

Fixed Mindset: People with this mindset believe their abilities are fixed traits. You’re either talented or not. You can either do it or you can’t. If you fail, it means you aren’t good enough.
Growth Mindset: People with a growth mindset believe that with effort, reflection, and persistence, they can grow and improve. They see mistakes as opportunities. They believe they can learn new skills and get better over time.

Now think about this in your horsework.
Which mindset do you recognize in yourself when things go wrong with your horse? When you feel stuck, or when your horse says “no”?

Let’s say you want to do a Liberty Connection session. You invite your horse to follow you in liberty but he walks away. Maybe it happens again. And again.

Someone with a fixed mindset might think:

“I’m just not good at this.”
“My horse doesn’t like me.”
“Other people are just better at communicating in liberty with horses.”

But someone with a growth mindset might say:

“Interesting. What’s going on for my horse?”
“How was my energy just now? Was I present?”
“What can I do differently next time?”

This small shift changes everything.
Your horse feels it.
You soften.
You become more curious.
Your whole presence shifts. That’s the power of mindset.

Here’s the thing: having a positive mindset does not mean you’re always cheerful, confident, or never have negative thoughts. That’s unrealistic and even harmful.
According to psychologist Dr. Susan David, what really matters is *emotional agility*: the ability to feel your emotions without being ruled by them.
That means allowing space for sadness, fear, disappointment, and choosing your actions consciously, not reactively.

Let me give you an example: You’re practicing groundwork. Your horse rears a little, startled. Your first emotion is fear.
A positive mindset doesn’t mean you ignore that fear. It means you pause, breathe, acknowledge it: *“Okay, that scared me.”
And then ask: What does my horse need right now? What do I need?

This makes you grounded, trustworthy, and calm. Your horse feels safe with that.

A tip for this is to start naming your emotions. Say to yourself: "This is frustration." or "This is shame."
Naming it helps your brain regulate it, instead of being hijacked by it.

Now imagine this: you had a tough day, you're feeling tired and self-critical.
You want to train groundwork with your horse. He doesn’t respond like you hoped. You get tense.
You start doubting yourself: “I’m not good at this. Why do I even try? He doesn’t want to cooperate.”

Your horse feels that.
He senses the tension in your body, your held breath, the way you tighten the rope.

Now imagine you pause, take a breath, and say to yourself: “It’s okay. We’re both learning. I’ll just go for connection today.”

That tiny shift in mindset softens your body.
Your tone becomes kinder.
Your horse starts to breathe deeper. He becomes curious again.

This is not magic. It’s neuroscience.
Horses attune to our nervous system.
They feel our internal state, and that state can make them feel calm or stressed.

Here are some reflective questions you can work with:

* What are the thoughts I have when something goes wrong in training?
* Do I allow myself to make mistakes?
* What do I believe about my abilities as a horsewoman?
* What do I believe about my horse's abilities?
* How do I speak to myself after a session that didn't go well?
* What kind of energy do I want to bring to my horse?

Take your time. Be honest.
You don’t need to be perfect. Just be aware.

Let me give you some tips on how to Strengthen Your Mindset (Without Becoming Fake Positive):

Tip 1: Replace judgment with curiosity
If your horse refuses something, don’t jump to judgment. Ask questions. *"What’s behind this?"* *"How can I support him better?"*

Tip 2: Practice presence
Often we go back to the past (*“I failed yesterday, so it will probably happen again today”*), that’s what we make ourselves believe. But your horse is here. Right now. So join him here.

Tip 3: Celebrate effort
Praise yourself not for the result, but for showing up. For trying. For listening.

Tip 4: Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend
Would you say to your best friend, *"You suck, you're terrible at this"*? No? Then why would you say it to yourself?

Tip 5: Reflect, without judgement
After a session, instead of going over everything you did wrong, ask: *What felt good? What can I try differently? What did I learn?

So these were the 5 tips you can already start to implement to develop a growth mindset.

I also want to tell you a real life story to show you the influence of your mindset.

One of my students came to me because her horse always pulled away during haltering. She said, "He doesn’t respect me. He doesn’t like being with me."

So we looked deeper. We slowed down.
I asked her to first connect with her breath, and then make slow and mindful movements as she started to halter him.
She started noticing how rushed and tense she was at the start of each session. She was carrying so much pressure to "do it right."

When she softened, started breathing slower, and became more present, her horse stood still. He didn’t pull away.
That made her emotional, because all the time she told herself her horse didn’t like her and her self-worth became less and less, because she repeated that to herself every time she was with her horse.

Now she experiences her horse did like her!
He did enjoy being with her, if she could slow down.
It wasn’t about her. It was how she did it, and the negative energy that she took with her only reinforced everything.

If instead of a fixed mindset, she would have been in a growth mindset, she would probably already have solved it herself.
Because then she would have asked herself reflective questions like: What does my horse need? Or, Who can I ask for help? Or, How can I change this situation?

So, what does all this mean for you and your horse?

It means that a very powerful tool you always have with you is your state of mind.
The way you speak to yourself. The way you process challenges. The way you stay open, even when it’s hard.

When you practice emotional honesty, curiosity, and calm self-reflection, your horse feels it.
And that’s when connection deepens. That’s when trust grows.

If this resonates with you and you’re longing for a deeper, more mindful bond with your horse, I invite you to explore my website: Horsefulnesstraining.com

There you’ll find more free resources about how to build a deep and natural connection with your horse and how to train with feel, mindfulness, and awareness.
You can find the link in the show notes.

Thank you for listening. I hope this episode gave you something to reflect on, something to try.
If you enjoyed it, please share it with a friend or leave a comment. I always love hearing your thoughts!

And remember: you don’t have to be perfect for your horse to be powerful.
Just keep nurturing that growth mindset, that’s already a beautiful step forward.

© Karine Vandenborre - Horsefulness Training.  All Rights Reserved