Transcript: Horsefulness Training podcast-episode 17

Title: The Treat Trap

Date: [13-06-25]

Host: Karine Vandenborre

Today, I want to talk to you about “the treat trap.”

I’m going to explain to you what I mean by “the treat trap,” and I’m also going to explain what you can do instead to bond with your horse in the most natural way.

But first of all, welcome back to the Horsefulness Training Podcast! I’m Karine Vandenborre, horse trainer, horsewoman coach, and founder of Horsefulness Training.

Today,
I want to focus on what NOT to do when you want to build a deep and natural bond with your horse, and that is: relying on food treats for connection.

For that, we have to have a look at how horses bond in nature.

Horses are group animals and social animals. This means that they naturally long for connection and bonding. Horses are wired to seek connection, also with humans.

The way horses naturally bond is by spending time together, grazing, walking, resting together. And of course also playing, communicating, and interacting with each other, but a big part is just standing, resting, and grazing together.

Foals begin their journey of connection with their mother, but as they are born into a group of horses, they automatically bond with the other members of the group.

And that goes in a really simple way: they learn to trust, communicate, and form relationships just by simply being in the group.

However, what do humans often do if they want to connect with a horse, or if they want to build trust in a horse?

They give treats! And that’s what I call
“the treat trap,” because using treats to get your horse to connect is “training” your horse to be with you, it has nothing to do with natural connection. It creates a transaction, not an authentic relationship. You’re both making a deal: you say, if you come to me I give you a treat, your horse says: if you give me a treat, I come to you.

So instead of choosing to be with you for you, the horse starts associating you with food rewards.

This approach undermines the natural bond you’re trying to build. In a herd, horses don’t “reward” or “bribe” each other for companionship. Trust and connection come from consistent, natural interactions.

However, don’t get me wrong: I want to make clear that treats, and clicker training especially, can be fantastic in the training of horses. I am NOT against using treats and clicker training during the training of horses, I even use it myself in certain situations, but what you need to understand is that training a horse is NOT the same as building a natural connection!

Rewarding horses for bonding and for connecting, something that is so natural, goes against who horses truly are and the purity of the relationship. For me, that’s why giving food treats to connect became a no-go, mainly out of respect for the horse as a sentient and intelligent being.

Bonding and connecting is a basic need of the horse, so it’s very natural for them to want that, and do that, it really doesn’t need food rewards.

And you know, I truly speak from my own experience.
In my search for a deeper connection with horses I also tried it, working with food rewards with the goal of building a strong connection.

And it felt amazing! The horses came to me from afar, even at a gallop! But after a while, the connection started to feel different. It was no longer about me but about the reward.

Some horses were showing this to me very clearly, while other horses were very subtle in their expectations… You could hardly see it, but for example, they would only slightly tilt their head towards my hand or pocket for a split second. For someone who wasn’t paying close attention, it would not even be noticeable, but that slight, short, almost invisible movement carried a sad message…

That message was: connection is not without expectations anymore.

That was a clear signal for me to stop because it was no longer about the connection itself but about the reward.

Now, this is the treat trap: when treats replace genuine connection, the bond becomes conditional and unnatural.

Ok, now that we’ve explored the pitfall of relying on treats and the importance of building a natural connection, let’s take a moment to reflect.

You’ve learned in the previous episode the three simple steps to create a foundation of trust, namely:
Step 1: Connect with yourself by connecting with your breath.
Step 2: Let your horse come to you.
Step 3: Work in a large space.

And now you’ve also seen why it’s crucial to avoid shortcuts like treats and instead create a bond that’s rooted in the need of the horse to connect naturally.

But what’s next?

While these 3 steps are a powerful starting point, building a deeper, lasting connection requires more insight, practice, and guidance. That’s where Bonding Time comes in.

Bonding Time is an exercise out of my Liberty Connection Work. Liberty Connection Work consists of 8 connection exercises, and Bonding Time is the first one.

Bonding Time takes everything we’ve talked about to the next level. It’s not just about being with your horse, it’s about creating a natural and strong bond that’s grounded in trust and presence.

If you want to learn more about Bonding Time, I invite you to listen to podcast episode #14: The What and Why of Bonding Time.

Because Bonding Time, in my opinion, is something you shouldn’t skip. It’s the way I always start with every horse, even when there are no problems at all. And definitely when there are problems, or when a horse has been traumatised.

But let’s get back to the treat trap, because many of my students (and you might have that too) are afraid that if they stop using treats to motivate their horse to come to them or make contact, their horse will lose interest.

And… that is the case. In the beginning.

At first, the horse notices:
"Hey, I don’t get my piece of carrot anymore when you enter the field."
"Hey, you don’t give me a treat anymore when I stand near you."

And when they realise that, many of these horses do lose motivation to come to their human, at least for a while.

I remember a student of mine saying:
"Karine, the first two weeks of doing Bonding Time without treats, I felt so bad. My horse didn’t come anymore like he used to. He didn’t even look up. He lost interest - totally!

But I’m so happy I persisted, because yesterday he came to sniff me, and touch me… and the contact he made was so different. He was interested in me this time!

And again today! He was less curious about my smell, but he stood next to me, and we just stood there. I felt such a strong connection.

He didn’t even search for my pockets. He could stand there calmly.

I would have never thought this was possible without treats. But it’s so much better now. It feels so much deeper."

So if you’re someone who has also fallen into the treat trap, I challenge you to let go of it.

Go to your horse without needing to reward them… without needing to “train” them to come to you or stick to you.

Instead: bond in the most natural way, without treats, but with true presence.

Let me know how it goes. I’m here for you and your horse!

And if you’d like my help, check out the Bonding Time Deep Dive Course. You’ll find the link in the show notes.

I’m going to leave you here for today, with this invitation:

To trust the power of your presence.
To connect with your horse, not through your pocket,
but through your being.

Till next time!

© Karine Vandenborre - Horsefulness Training.  All Rights Reserved