Transcript: Horsefulness Training podcast-episode 12
Title: Why your horse doesn't need to be fixed
Date: [09-05-25]
Host: Karine Vandenborre
Hello and welcome to the Horsefulness Training Podcast.
My name is Karine Vandenborre, I’m a horse trainer and instructor & founder of Horsefulness Training.
I'm so happy you're here. Today I want to talk about something that I carry deeply in my heart. It's a message I wish every horse owner could feel with his heart, and not just understand with their head.
It’s this: “Your horse doesn't need to be fixed”.
You know, we live in a world that is very focused on problems and which is very goal orientated. We are trained to see what’s wrong, what needs to be corrected and what needs to improve or change.
And this way of thinking, often without us realizing, creeps into our relationship with our horse as well.
So often, I hear people say things like:
• "My horse is so stubborn, he doesn’t want to take that jump”
• "She needs to respect me, he pins his ears when I touch him”
• "He doesn’t want to listen to me on the lunge, he always wants to break out of the circle"
And I understand. Truly. I've been there too.
When you feel stuck, when your horse does something that feels difficult or unsafe, it’s natural to want to find the solution, to want to fix it.
But what if there is nothing wrong with your horse?
What if your horse doesn’t need fixing, but understanding?
When you look at your horse with the eyes of your heart, you begin to see something else.
You can see the message behind what they’re doing.
You can see communication behind the behavior.
Stubbornness suddenly becomes his way of saying that this is too difficult.
That you need to break the exercise in easy steps.
A horse that bites and that is claimed to be disrespectful is communicating that he needs you to be more present and slower in your movements.
And your horse that won’t listen to you during lunging, is trying to tell you that you are being incongruent in your body language.
Because that’s what it is: it’s not behavior, but communication.
As a horse trainer and instructor, you will almost never hear me talking about behavior.
Because it’s all about communication.
Every single thing your horse does, is communication.
It’s their language.
And when we stop labeling it as “behavior” and start listening to what is being said, a whole new world opens up.
And, we miss this when we look through the lens of fixing, and through the lens of “problem solving”.
But when we soften and shift into presence, into listening, into curiosity, everything changes.
Mindful horse training doesn’t start with exercises.
Exercises and techniques are not the most important aspect of mindful horse training.
Understanding is. Communication is. And Connection is.
And to be honest, this can be challenging, because it asks something of us.
It asks us to slow down.
To regulate our OWN emotions.
To question our own beliefs.
To unlearn so much of what we hear and see so much, namely that we must fix our horse’s behavior.
But if we can do that, if we can unlearn this way of thinking, and only see communication, then the reward is big!
When you stop trying to fix your horse, you start to truly see your horse.
And often, when a horse feels seen, safe, and understood, the “problems” already start to get less.
Not because you used a special technique.
Not because you applied pressure.
But because you tried to understand first.
And you focussed on trust and communication.
And with that the horse can already let go of tension.
It’s magical to experience, what happens when you stop labeling the things your horse does as behavior, and instead start seeing everything as communication.
Suddenly it’s much easier to be present, and to be calm in the moment, because if you listen to what the horse is saying in the moment, you are present.
You are not thinking about how to fix it, you are listening.
And answering.
And helping the horse.
And your stress to fix something disappears.
The horse feels your calmness, your trust in the process.
And the horse can start relaxing.
And from that place of trust, you can continue.
So if your horse is doing something that challenges you, pause for a moment.
Breathe.
Let go of the story that says “there’s something wrong.”, or “my horse is showing bad behavior, what can I do to fix this.”
Instead, ask yourself:
• What is my horse trying to tell me?
• What does my horse need right now?
And the most important question, the question I always ask: how can I help this horse right now?
And with that question I mean: right now, in this moment, this very minute.
And if you let your intuition speak, if you let your heart speak, an answer will come up.
Well, do that!
And you don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need all the answers.
You just need to show up with empathy, with care and very important: with the willingness to let go of your goals.
Your horse isn’t a project.
Your horse is a sensitive being.
And the greatest gift you can give them is your loving presence.
So the next time your horse does something you don’t understand, or something that you don’t want, take a breath.
Pause.
Instead of asking: "How can I fix this?" ask: "How can I help my horse?"
That’s the “Horsefulness Way”, the way of communication, connection, and trust.
I invite you, today and every day, to look beyond what seems like “behavior.”
To listen for what your horse is whispering underneath it all.
Because your horse isn’t misbehaving.
Your horse is communicating with you.
And that is something truly beautiful.
Because when your horse communicates, it means there’s an opening.
An invitation for connection.
You want your horse to share, to express, so that you can listen, respond, and support.
That’s how the relationship deepens.
That’s how trust grows.
And that’s how you evolve, not just as a trainer, but as a mindful and soulful horsewoman.
I hope this episode helped you soften the old idea that your horse’s actions are “wrong” or that it’s behavior that needs to be “fixed.”
Instead, see it as honest communication.
Opportunities to enter into a deeper conversation with your horse.
Because that’s where the real magic begins.
Thank you so much for being here today.
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